So I’ve been thinking a lot about distance recently.
The distance it is from my house to work, from work to church, from church to Uni.
The distance I feel from those around me and the distance my friends feel from me.
Because I can be distant.
I’ve become disconnected.
I hardly speak to my girls; my friends think I’ve abandoned them.
The social butterfly seems to have become extinct.
Life of the party. (I actually wonder sometimes what the party is like without its life.)
My friends can hardly recognise me now since I’ve changed. I’ve changed it all and it was like ABC.
Attitude, Behaviour, Company.
Nothing looks the same.
My friend asked me: “Stephanie what happened to you? You’ve gone ghost?”
But I don’t think she got it right; I didn’t go ghost, I went HOLY GHOST. Changed.
See I used to love it all, and I don’t mind saying that I’ve been a bad girl.
If Adam is the father of mankind, well then I was born deep in my father’s sin.
Name the sin, which one didn’t I do?
Lying, stealing and gossiping were my favourite sports. And I competed all the time. Always finishing in first place or podium position.
And it was cool.
The clubbing was live, the drinking was too. But there came a point when I said “God I want to live for you!”
And that was strange.
I mean, how can I live for God when I don’t even know who He is?
God had become so abstract.
A person I only speak to on Sundays.
A person I only speak to on some days.
I mean we’d been distant. The time it had taken for me to make that decision, to know Him, to love Him, to LIVE for Him, that was distance.
I heard Mandela was locked up for 27 years.
All because of a system that did not want to recognise his right to live as an equal, but wanted to push him so down and so low, so that when he looked up all he could see was himself and the distance between that equality. Apartheid.
The children of Israel took 40 years to make a 40 day journey. All because they could not remember what God had done for them the day they left Egypt. A part tide.
And I parted, from my old life.
You know I partied, in my old life.
I was a part dead, in my old life.
So I departed, from my old life.
Now I’m apart of His new life.
Together. Close. No longer distant.
I feel no distance.
When He called me, He said I was different.
When I followed Him, He forgave what I did first.
Cos I had a lot to dig first.
A lot to uncover, a lot of excavate.
But He did.
And when He finished I knew I was different.
There could be no distance, between me and my Lord, me and His Word, between me and the Sword, His Spirit.
What is distance?
The only distance I feel now is between me and my sins.
Wow. Now that’s distance.