Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.James 4:7
In the spirit of honesty, I should tell you that after last week’s post, my ex-boyfriend (who we will rename “WannaBae”) reached out to me.
Oh yes, oh yes.
Lemme not joke, it was quite a surprise. I mean, this week’s post was billed as the explanation of our second break up, so I was just laughing to myself at the irony. Safe to say that I shot that (his message) down with as much gentleness as I could muster.
You see, WannaBae didn’t read my post. I know because he doesn’t even know I have a blog. (Oh yes, he told me early on in our relationship that he had tried to “research me” online, but it’s a bit difficult to investigate a girl with an overly common Jewish surname.
Oh yes, he didn’t read my blog, but the devil did. And how better to derail this week’s blog than getting me wrapped up with the main antagonist from last week’s post.
The devil tried it, but the devil is a liar. I ain’t about to return to my vomit a third time, what kind of thing is that? I still had to come through before the end of the week and give you the final act….
So, after last week, I’m sure you were wondering how Stephanie was going to escape that one? You remember the scene: WannaBae 2.0., fine wine, fine tones and a re-invitation to our old situationship.
Well, lemme not lie, I fell for it, for about three weeks.
We went right back into the conversations, the date nights and the cheeky emoji faces. Things were back to how it always was. But I felt really bad, like I was going against my own heart. Something didn’t feel right, and it wasn’t like how I felt when we first dated, it was something much worse. So I cut it loose. It wasn’t even 4 weeks into the new year and I had already dumped someone!
(Again, disclaimer, WannaBae is a guy I never should have dated in the first place, so I’m kinda gonna treat it like an annullment, in that it’s voided, it’s invalid and never should have occurred in the first place.)
I hate dumping people. It’s always been my issue. I just find it so uncomfortable, and unfortunately, I am always the one doing the dumping. I even remember getting to the end of a relationship and I used to pray that my significant-other would dump me just so I could not be the one to pull the plug. Do you know what I mean? It’s not everyday playing Big Bad Wolf you know…
But what am I getting at? Why was this “dump” so significant?
Probably because I had to wrestle with the reality that I have been back-to-back dating for 4-5 years.
I mean, WOW.
I’ve not been single since 2014/15, and it has been tiring.
It was important because it illustrated my discomfort with my singleness, that I had been avoiding embracing or settling into.
But more than that, God used this breakup to show me that my incessant dating actually undermined my faith in and reliance on Him.
He needed me to cut the umbilical cord of relationships with men who have only served as distractions from the one Man who has wanted my heart since Day One.
It’s sad to think that I have been using relationships as a means of staying in control, knowing that I would always have someone willing to dote on me, spoil me and pander to my numerous needs and quirks. It’s horrible to think that I have been that obsessed with power.
Because if I am constantly yearning to be in control, I can never rest in the reality that He IS.
So yeah, control freaks are being delivered in 2019.
And I developed a phrase called “dumping the devil” and it is not referring to Satan or your Ex – it means dumping your sin and that stubborn issue in life, which is a great place for me to switch up the tones, because we are at Week Three of The Chronicles of Bae, and I really wanted to end with a warning:
Whether you like it or not, God wants to deal with your issues in 2019.
Let me not lie to you, it’s gonna hurt.
It. Is. Going. To. HURT.
It’s gonna be awkward, a bit embarrassing, some of you aren’t even going to recognise your own heart when God deals with it, but deal with it He must. The shock will be a lot.
Now, I say “whether you like it or not”, because some of us are fighting it. But you can only walk in disobedience for so long before you walk offfff. God’s been telling you for a minute that He needs to perform surgery on your heart and you’re delaying procedures.
Sis, you need to allow Him.
Bro, you need to let Him.
When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he told them that just as they have received Christ, they should walk in Christ. He spoke about being built up and established, abounding in thanksgiving. And he warned against allowing any man to spoil you.
What are you allowing to spoil you Sis?
Who are you allowing to spoil you Bro?
Bruv, you need to dump the devil.
Because I’m not writing this for me. God already told me what my issues are and we are dealing with it, day in, day out.
What are yours?
And if you tell me that you don’t have any issues, I am giving you major side eye – you can exit stage left. Can we be real? The mark of a Christian is that we are in constant battle, and if you are not warring, I am sorry to say that either you are a liar or you are dull to the voice of the Spirit.
Yes, there is an autobiographical element to these weekly posts which allows me to write candidly, and yes, there is a cathartic release that comes with it.
If you can relate to any of my tales, cool beans. If you can’t, no sweat. I realise that many people reading my blog have noooooo issues with ex-boyfriends, I mean not all of you are women lol
Some of you are married, others are single and some have never dated anyone before.
But this blog and these posts are not just about dating; it’s about calling time on sin and disobedience. Dumping the devil. It’s about allowing God to work on and in you. It’s about that thing, whatever you call it, that has been hindering you in life, obstructing your view of God, interfering with your relationship with Him. Yeah, that thing needs to come down.
So tell me again, what’s your issue?
Not what you think your issue is, but what the Spirit has told you it is. Whatever it is, dump it. Dump that sin and dump the shame that comes with it. Let’s submit ourselves to God, resist the devil and, trust me, he will flee from you.
Blessings always, and until next week…