Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.1 Corinthians 15:33
We need to talk.
I ain’t lied to y’all before and I ain’t about to start now. I was gonna go somewhere completelyyyyy different this week, but this post was needed. Like, I was ready to talk about some of the red flags in (Un)Christian dating, the (Un)Christian Lists etc but I got an urge to just drop this post and be done.
So lemme start by suggesting something – that we ditch Christian flirting. And I mean kill it, dead in the water.
You know what I’m talking about. That talk. All that talk, that salicious, sensual nonsense. That needs to stop.
But Stephanie, it’s just Bants
No. Banter is Bants. Flirting is a crime. Lol ok it’s not a crime
yet but it’s so very dangerous.
You know Solomon was on to a winner when he said “let thy words be few” because some of y’all are taking liberties with your tongue.
Already I know that some of you don’t agree. That’s cool.
Some of you are cool with flirting cos it doesn’t mean anything right?
But it does.
Please recognise that some of the things we say start fires in the other person’s mind, and if we confess to be Christians, we should at least be concerned about creating stumbling blocks for that person.
I’m not asking you to take responsibility for their mind, but you do not have to be a contributing factor to the lust cycle that began with your flirty text.
And some guys are doing the most. I told you before – I ain’t lied to y’all before and I ain’t about to start now. Some of us need to stop justifying ourselves. Stop making excuses to engage with certain convos. Some fellas have PhDs in Flirting – and they are so good at it, everyone just accepts it as part of their personality.
Men, Brothers, Mandem. Dudesss. Stop ittttt. You’re gonna tell me that it is innocent right? But let’s be real, I know that you are not that naive? So instead, you’re gonna tell me that compared to what other people get up to, this is nothing, right? But please don’t use the world’s standard as a measuring stick, because the world’s standard is wack.
Instead, how about we use another bible verse:
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.Philippians 4:8
Bro, I didn’t write it, so don’t come for me, come for King James innit…
Now back to my Ladies – can we talk? Do you know what you do when you send that message?
You set that guy up to imagine you in his bed, or him in your bed or you two at a hotel room, becaaauuuse imaginations…
Communication really is a gift or a curse depending on how you use it.
God gave each of us specific talents; please don’t use yours to facilitate your sin.
What did Paul say in Galatians 5 about not misusing your liberty again? Ah, you don’t remember? Lemme help that…
For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.Galatians 5:13
Sorry Bible Scholars, you know I love you but some of you are the worst culprits because you are soaking up scriptures but don’t apply it attalllllll. And don’t just leave it there, go and re-read the whole chapter Bible Scholar.
Steph, is it that deep though?
Yes, I think it is. Some of us are deep in the Word but shallow in obedience. No shade, because it’s not that you don’t know the truth – you just don’t want to submit to truth. Oh no, you don’t want to play ball with those convicting scriptures. In fact, take small shade because some of you are flirts like Imma Flirt, no R.Kelly
definitely no R.Kelly given the current allegations that have come out again and some of you are doing harm to the harm principle – JS Mill would be vex.
And even still, some of you are reading this and you still don’t even care – and I ain’t mad at you. I know because my flesh is the same
and slyly my flesh is saying you should teach me your ways, cos that is some conscience swerving mate. Your discretion settings must not have come with your new upgrade. See a real Jedi Master! How you doin’? Abeg teach me your waaaayyyss.
But alas, my conscience won’t let me because God has dealt with me in regards to Christian flirting, and not necessarily the words – He is dealing with deeds. And motivation matters guys. The fact that we allow that person who has noooooo business in our business to entertain a chance of being with us. Nah boo, dead that please.
Truth is, none of this is new, because I am only telling you what I have literally just done. After weeks of resisting it, I had to block WannaBae from my phone. Not gonna lie, I didn’t think I needed to do it. I kinda liked the fact that I was “strong” enough to “resist” him for so many weeks. And let me not pretend like my ego wasn’t kinda revelling in the attention, the power games that I was still playing, albeit from a distance. Oh yesso. My ego was rising. My flesh was on a hype. Untouchable flesh. Unstoppable flesh. That pride, well, we all know what happens to pride, I don’t have to chapter and verse that one…
I just had to do what was necessary, and today, I am asking you to do the same. Not tomorrow, not next week, not after the birthday. TODAY.
Stop replying to the texts.
Don’t reply to those calls.
And for goodness sake, no more cheeky emojis!
Stop entertaining it bruh. Dead flirting.
But Steph, whyyyy?
Because he will ask to pick you up.
He will want to take you out.
Or if he’s real bad, he will skip the whole process and just be like “plz send nudes”.
So what you saying now Sis? Because your words/fingers sold a story that your body can’t co-sign. But where your conscience at boo? I mean, can we talk??
The scripture says bad communication corrupts good manners. Some translations say bad company or evil companionships corrupt good manners.
And I believe that.
You think WannaBae kept coming back for no reason?
Or perhaps that AmericanBae was just so tired of American cuties that he wanted to check out what the UK has to offer?
Nooooo. Man was planning
the next trip the next visa an escape keeping his options open.
And guess what, I didn’t dissuade him.
Oh no. You think he was messaging me and getting back Stone Cold Steve Austin replies? Ermmm ok.
So this week dear Reader, delete him/her.
If necessary, block him/her.
Stop doing fine girl/fine boy on camera to show him/her what he/she is missing.
Oh yes, it’s a thing. I still remember how I used to switch up my profile pics on a regular just to show whoever was “CurrentBae” what we were working with. Oh yes, it was a thing. Until my friend called me out with something along the lines of “I can always tell you are seeing someone by the number of times you change your WhatsApp picture” . Or maybe I just wanna do fine girl today?! No that’s a lie, I don’t wanna do fine girl, I like my privacy settings.
I’m sorry if this is reading like a scolding but I really want us to wake from the slumber of having wasteful, sensual and sometimes sexual conversations. Because that slides into perversion so fast. Yeah, innuendo, the double entendres – I know the dialogue ain’t jam packed with it but the consequences are always the same isn’t it?
Every type of sexual contact without actually fornicating with him/her.
I’m sorry, is that too much? Have I called your number? If so, the doctor will see you now.
Jesus Himself said that wisdom is proved right by her children, and sometimes I think it goes back to wisdom, value and identity. Why do we hold fast to behaviours that are damaging, as if those things will guarantee a healthy, godly relationship? It may seem an odd question but unless Jesus is infinitely valuable to you, unless He is your highest treasure, it is likely that your heart will be drawn away from Him by other things that become your functional god. One of those things tend to be the idols of relationship and marriage.
By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.Hebrews 11:24-26
I wanna end by saying “do a Stephanie” but you should actually do a Moses – Abeg, dead those treasures in Egypt and come collect the riches in Christ.
Until next week…