16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:Proverbs 6 v 16-19
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
So far, we have looked at four flags in depth and at great length:
Red Flag 1: Jealousy
Red Flag 2: Insecurity
Red Flag 3: Hypersensitivity
Red Flag 4: Loneliness
This week, I have one straightforward flag, and shock horror, it doesn’t relate to FirstBaeInChrist, or any Bae for that matter…
Red Flag 5: Lying
I don’t have much to say on this, because the Bible seems to say it all, and Proverbs seems to say it best:
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.Proverbs 12 v 19
Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.Proverbs 12 v 22
A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall not escape.Proverbs 19 v 5
A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.Proverbs 19 v 9
Have you ever dated a liar?
Or someone who just seemed incapable of being honest?
For me, it creates an air of doubt and wondering, and those are two things you just don’t want to endure in a relationship.
But I wonder though, how many of us check ourselves in this area?
Are we honest?
Are we transparent?
Are we willing to have those difficult conversations, or do we shoot it down, making excuses for ourselves about why we cannot open up?
Because it’s not just about ‘Bae’, it’s about us! What if I am the liar??
Sometimes we lie to ourselves but we’re so lost in the sauce, that we convince ourselves that we are in truth – and that is mad dangerous.
We lie, we pretend and we falsify in a bid to protect people from what we deem to be the ugly truths.
So I have two tips for you this week: when it comes to lying, check you and check others.
Check yourself before you get into the relationship.
Are you honest?
About your spiritual journey?
About your finances?
About your spending?
About your work ethic?
About your health – physical/mental/sexual/emotional?
About your self-image/self-esteem?
About your ability to be faithful/committed?
About your dedication to others?
About your integrity?
About what may or may not be an addiction to food/drink/drugs/sex/pornography/masturbation/gambling/self-harming?
18 As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death,Proverbs 26 v 18-19
19 So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?
With Red Flag 5 I want you to look out for the liars – whether that is Potential Bae, or whether that is you.
Think about it for yourself and think about it for him/her.
And in regards to him/her, don’t let them off the hook.
One of the worst things we do is to turn our ugly lies into jokes – we offer partial truths, knowing that we will be able to convert it into banter later. But be warned: there is truth in jest, and his/her uncomfortable lies today will lead to inconsolable deceptions tomorrow.
So let’s “Red Flag” Lying and opt to give and receive truth.
Let it be ugly – at least it is the truth.
Until next time, the journey must continue….