The Chronicles of Bae: Our Trespasses

Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

1And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Matthew 6 v 8 – 13

SoooooooOOOOoooOOOoooooOOOOOoo I’m back lol

Yeah, so after my last blog, I wanted to take a moment and pause. God has been moving in a wonderful way of late and I just needed to let Him do whatever it was that He needed to do. It’s still a process of refinement, but bless God, we are beyond simply getting there – we are on a great journey.

Today, “getting there” means acknowledging our errors and moving into a realm of forgiveness and empowerment. I am carrying so much encouragement for you all today because God is moving BIG and He has placed within us ALL that we need to please Him.

Whether it is a desire to be holy, to be faithful, to be obedient, to share the gospel, to be Christ in the lives of our family, colleagues and friends, or simply to be an example to all believers everywhere in our speech, conduct, love, faith and purity – we have access to that through the power of the Holy Spirit. Whatever God has laid on your heart, take it seriously. Don’t quit because somebody’s faith fell short. Don’t give up because it’s taking too long – trust Him and commit to the journey.

This week, I am taking that 1 Timothy 4 so seriously. It could be a whole sermon tbh but lemme give you the short version: we need to stand out as examples. I need to be an example in my faith and the Spirit has been chastising me for not being faithful to this blog, so I apologise and I wanted to return with a new series taken from the iconic “Our Father” prayer.

Each week I will be reflecting on a line from the prayer and expanding it to reflect on our single/dating experiences as Christians.

Today’s post is taken from this line:

forgive us our trespasses

I usually say that the mark of a Christian is that we are constantly repenting.

Christians, God-lovers and those who associate themselves with the Body recognise their flaws and are constantly taking those flaws back to the foot of the Cross. We constantly ask for forgiveness because we constantly fall into sins, knowingly and unknowingly. I’m big on repenting, and my mantra is if you sin publicly, you oughta be about repenting publicly too. I mean, consistency and that…

But how does this relate to dating Steph?

For many of us (and pls pls pls let’s not lie) when we consider our past dating histories, we ain’t repenting of nuthin’. When we think back to our old bfs, former gfs and long-lost boo-thangs, and we offer God high praise and thanksgiving, cos boyyyyyyy did we dodge a bullet. And I’m not even gonna speak about those who are revelling in old sinful pairings. Oh the memories. We still missing the calls, the gifts and the way he/she used to *insert verb here*.

Of course we repent! Some of us have dated shady characters. Listen, some of our ex-partners were so shady in fact, they didn’t cast shadows after midday looool. Juanita Bynum speaks on this in her No More Sheets sermon. That’s you boo, don’t @ me lol

So we shiver at the memories, we end up wiping metaphorical sweat from our brows and we bless God for His deliverance.

And yeah, we definitely need to thank God for those God saved us from, but do we thank Him for those He saved from us?

Oh yes, that wasn’t a typo lol.

From us, from me, from YOU boo. Youuuuuuuu.

Reader, can we talk please? Some of us have been moving mad with our dating histories. Baaaaaaare long long stories, it’s not everyday, it’s not everydayyyy. Some of us have been moving like Heartbreak Hotel – too many visitors, not many positive reviews.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Jeremiah 17 v 9

But can we talk?

See, the lawyer in me would say that there is a body of evidence that points to us not being as innocent as we think we are about our pasts. Cos it’s 2019 right, and we are so good at projecting our current mindset into our histories.

We see ourselves as victims, being led, being driving and generally oblivious to our offending partners.

Why? Like, what about what you did Hun?

I mean, yes, by all means thank God for allowing you to escape the bin boy/bin girl you nearly got into a thing with, but can we also accept that God saved a lot of people from our proud destructive hearts too?


Yes, OUR. And I am talking about my heart just as much as I am talking about yours boo. Our deceitful, desperate and wicked hearts, that desired validation and fought for attention and affection at any cost.

What about the guy you strung along Sis?

What about the girl whose time you wasted Bro?

I mean, how do you write that off??

What about the broken pieces?

What about the fragmented hearts?

You thought you threw those in the bin right? You thought you threw it in the wash on an extra spin cycle, but it’s still there…lurking…small, unpretty bits falling out of your pocket at inconvenient times…


I’m talking to reformed bad gyals, redeemed bad boys, ex-playas and the former professional daters. Yes, youuu.

A1 Rebound Rebel youuuu.

Perpetually out on a Friday/Saturday night, forever wining and dining, forever in candle lit restaurants, issiteverydaymyfriendddd. Like I said, don’t @ me – I will @ your Bumble profile.

But you know what? It’s ok. Some of us have been guilty of some horrors, but it’s actual h’okayyyy. There’s no condemnation – Romans 8 v 1 and that. All your past sin/shame/nonsense has been brought under the blood of the Lamb and I didn’t come to unearth those buried memories.

I did however come to shine a light of reflection.

Can we acknowledge that we may have hurt people in the past?

I know that we don’t want to admit that, cos so much time has elapsed, and you’re thinking that there’s no way that it’s relevant – I mean, you’ve moved on right?

Alright you got me. So what am I meant to do?

That is actually not mine to answer. I’m just on mirror holding duty babes. Some of us need to speak a word of prayer, others need to send a breaking word. Most need to intercede for the hearts they trampled. Whatever it is, let the Spirit lead you, but whatever it is, don’t do it because it’s easy – do it cos it’s right.

Some of us will never see our Exes again – all we can do is pray for them.

Some of us will never see a former date, but we can intercede on their behalf.

And for those of us who still have access, and find themselves in the same vicinity as that person, would the apology kill you? Or would it kill the proud memory you carry in which you did nothing wrong? Like I said, I’m not setting any standards, let the Spirit guide you to take wise action.

But if you’ve come this far and you’re still not thinking that you owe anyone anything, I do have to wonder why?

You know that phrase, hurt people hurt people? Well I’ve amended it: broke people break people. Because ultimately, I don’t write today’s post for you. I write for your future husband/wife who needs you to be healed from the hurts that even you don’t know you carry.

In love, always.

SS

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