The Chronicles of Bae: Deliver Us

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

– Matthew 6:8-13 KJV

As always, before I get into this week’s post, I want to start with some encouragement… Basically, let’s learn the character of our God. To all those who are kinda just trudging along with their faith journeys or quiet times, let’s dig a little deeper. This God we serve is GREAT.

Adonai.

Elohim.

YHWH.

Take time to understand His nature.

Find out who He is and call Him by His many names.

Personally I’ve been doing a mini-study on the names of God in the Old Testament this month and I’ve found a few I love:

Jehovah Rohi, The Lord my Shepherd.

Jehovah Shammah, The Lord is HERE.

Jehovah El Nas, The Forgiving God.

And perhaps my favourite, Jehovah Pelet, The Lord My Deliverer.

Oh childddddd how the Lord delivers us.

Some of us don’t need to think too long or too hard about the last time we were in need of deliverance *shivers* Let’s not even go there, this is not a confessionallllllllll.

For those of you who read my first post in the “Our Father” series, I was talking about thanking God for those He saved from us. Well now we have reached the fourth and final blog in the series and this week we made it to talking about thanking God for delivering us from people characters demons evil.

This could be a whole extended sermon guys, but I’m gonna keep it short and sweet. There are two types of evil that I pray we are delivered from, not in 2020, but today, as in right now.

1. Men who want more than friendship but are willing to settle. I’m going to call Him Mr A.

2. Men who are married/in relationships but want friendship with us. Let’s call him Mr B.

So I’m gonna go right out and say it, and I offer no apologies for the next few paragraphs. Nope. I ain’t apologising fo’ nothin’. This is how it’s gon’ be boo. Lemme explain…

“Men who want more than friendship but are willing to settle.”

Sis, this man is dangerous.

I’m not gonna lie, this kinda guy scares me more than any other type because he’s relentless. Certain bruddas come like Terminator 2, they just don’t quit.

As in, he’s looking for a way in.

A level grade strategist, he’s looking for an inroad.

A star opportunist, he’s looking for an opening.

He’s the sort that is waiting on you to have a weak day so he can come through like Strong Bae. Nah, pun intended. Mi cahnt tek it.

He’s actually praying that you slip up you know so he can catch up, hold you for a minute and maybe put you down next Sunday before church.

He wants you to forget your own taste standard level boundaries.

You think I’m joking, right, but I’m not. Certain man are out here looking for an avenue to enter the place.

Can I be real? My rule has always been no friendship. If ever I have dated someone and it’s not worked, I cut off completely. If ever a man has liked me and I’ve not reciprocated, I don’t entertain a follow-on friendship. Nah boo, that’s actually long for me.

Why? Because he never just wants friendship.

He never intended friendship with you, but he’ll take it if that’s all you’re offering. And the worst thing is, he’ll tell you exactly that, very honestly in the beginning but you won’t listen.

I’m telling you this from experience now. Archetypal smooth-talkers and often charming, Mr A is very good at what he does. The last Mr A I met told me he would accept friendship on one condition – that when I change my mind, I should let him know, cos he doesn’t really want us to be just friends. Mud. Ting.

I’ll spare you the details, but the cliff notes summary was that his arrogance was mad, and do you know what I did with it? I giggled. These times I was needing deliverance and your girl giggled. Jesus take the wheel.

Nah Steph, it’s not that deep.

Hmm. Your case may be different, but my life experience has taught me that no man who has had romantic feelings for me will settle for friendship. He might say otherwise, but he’s frontin’, no Pharrell. I don’t know if the same rules apply to women who settle for friendship with men that they like, but hey, I guess we’ll find out male readers, let me knowww.

The same passion he spoke to you with in the beginning is still there, just resting under the surface until you crack. And Sis, if you don’t wanna crack, pray that you’ll be delivered and stay awayyyyy from Mr A. But please please please, whatever you do, do NOT move on to Mr B…

Men who are married/in relationships but want friendship with us.”

SIGHS. Yeahhhhh. Soooooo. Mr B. I don’t think this one needs much conversation.

Mr B types will do damage to your heart. They are exhausting.

Emotionally wrecked, they are looking for an outlet and they want to use you as target practice. Because they don’t just want friendship, they want that deep conversation, meaningful advice and everything short of commitment.

Nah nah nahhhhhhhh. Please do not have it.

Mr B is in a relationship….with another woman…that is not YOU. Do you get?

As in, he’s attached, not single, unavailable, biko what is your own with him???

I get that for some of us it started innocently. Like, just some conversation, never anything romantic, but can we stop?

Some of you were friends with Mr B before he got a Babes, so are simply continuing the same level of friendship.

Others met him, knowing that he was with someone else, but he told us it was fine, cos his wife/girlfriend wouldn’t have a issue with you guys talking, and it’s not as if anything happened…right? You’re just friends…right????

WRONG.

I’ve not yet written my post on emotional affairs, but trust me I will, and when I do, I will call out EVERYTHING.

Until then, I will take that some of us have entertained Mr B in ignorance, so I am going to make some quick directives: if you have a guy on your contact list that you are speaking to on a regular who is married or in a relationship with a next babes, delete him now.

Delete. Delete. DELETE.

Don’t think about it, just delete and clear the chat history. Yup, I know you’ll re-read his messages when you’re bored so why even give yourself the chance??

Mr B will break your heart if you let him, so I’m gonna help you to help you. Delete him.

Some of us need to clear our contact list TONIGHT.

Let him think you’re rude.

Let him miss you.

Let him be wondering why.

In our hearts, we each know when friendship is no longer friendship.

You know when you start waiting for his calls, anticipating his messages.

You know when you find yourself laughing at jokes he made days ago, but for some reason still tickle you.

You know when the mere mention of his name has you blushing like a 15 year old…and you’re actually blushing…but he’s not single lol.

So when the other person is not available to us, why run that risk of getting entangled in the first place?

Nah boo. Lock. It. Off.

You do not owe him an explanation and you most definitely do not need to negotiate the terms of detachment.

Ladies, you know I love you but some of us babes make the process of doing the right thing sooooOoooOOOooOOooo long.

It’s not everyday closure babes. Ah ah. Go and do closure with the Holy Spirit.

I’m not joking. Some relationships be like that and when you can’t reach the person, you speak to The Person.

Some of us be treating “break ups” with Mr B like divorces. Get outta here with that. The same way I say that love is not a negotiation, neither is it a bankruptcy. There is no winding down of communication babes. You do not need to call in the liquidators. Calling time on a poor relationship is not a democratic process. Some of us be treating “break ups” like managerial sackings, but he is not Unai Emery and you are not the Arsenal Board. Stop thatttttt we will actually fight.

Trust me, Mr B will understand. And even if he doesn’t, he has a wife/wifey so he’ll get over it.

I’m sorry if that sounds harsh but I’m more concerned with your heart than you holding on to a damaging relationship with an unavailable person. Why put yourself through it? Again, I wonder if the same rules apply if Mr B was Ms B, so fellas let a sister knowwww.

Final point. I should have said, the difference between Mr A and Mr B is levels of Christianity. Mr A typically has no/little faith, whilst Mr B tends to come in every shade of Christian, from fully grown Believer to Sunday Sunday Christian who will use his spirituality to deflect from the nature of your relationship.

Either way, whether your issue is a Mr A or a Mr B, we oughta pray to Jehovah Pelet for deliverance because these characters will do damage if you let them. So pray, and don’t quit praying. God will deliver.

Next week, I’m talking about first dates, that or worst dates…or both lol…

Until then….

Yours in love,

SS.

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