The Chronicles of Bae: Love, Lockdown and Men To Avoid

Another week, another challenge from Yours Truly…

I wanna give you some advice sis.

Three men to avoid during lockdown babygehl:

1. The Non-Christian
2. The Non-Committer
3. The Blast From The Past

Ok let’s do my favourite first: The Non-Christian

Lemme be plain: don’t date anyone.

Nahhhhhh read it again, don’t just date anyone sis. Date guys you’d like to marry, that way you’ll never marry a guy you should never have dated.

Do you get?

You know I wouldn’t lie to you.

I’m lits telling you what I know.

We’ve all been there, foolishly dating with eyes wide shut because we’re infatuated or bored or intrigued or lonely or insert your problem here.

These days, dating has gone wild, especially in lockdown.

FaceTiming.

….and Facetiming again…

…and more FaceTiming, this time over dinner…

…and more FaceTiming, but not with cooked dinner cos he sent UberEats to your place…and he knows that you had a long week…

…then he sent some Bloom and Wild flowers to your door…because just because…

…now you’re going on a socially distanced walk….2 metres apart and whilst wearing masks of course…

…not to mention the time he pulled up outside your house and y’all went for that drive…

…now you’re reading and re-reading the rules to see how you can be part of his support bubble…

Listennnnnnn Covid has people getting gassed, doing up lockdown Bonnie and Clyde.

Now I’m not anti-Covid romance. I’m all for love in lockdown honey, but we gotta be realistic with who we tryna make love happen with. It’s not everyone you should be picking calls from, speak less of dating.

But Steph, how would I know if I could marry him if I never date him????

Sis, check your values and check his.

You ain’t gotta date someone to understand his value system.

Be observant. Study.

Do some research. Investigate sha.

And do your homework abeg.

You don’t have to date a man to understand what kind of person he is. Collect data and be clever about it Sis.

And for goodness sake, find out his position on Christ.

Remember what I said in an older blog:

No shade, but I have come to learn that everyone and anyone is a Christian when it suits them. You know the type – filling out forms, ticking the box that says Christian because they were raised by Christian parents and they go to church when they’re not busy doing something else. 

Ladies, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it 1000 times – the “I believe in God” guy is exactly that, no more, no less.

He believes in God – he just hasn’t made up his mind about Jesus, and don’t even get him started about the Holy Spirit.

And this is not me telling you to cancel him you know. Nah, never.

Don’t drop them, just don’t date them.

We need to learn to listen to people when they speak and tell us what they are on, especially when you first meet someone, and it is clear that they are not in a relationship with God, why are we so willing to ignore that?

I know some of y’all are shocked that we’re still talking about dating unbelievers, but that’s because I know my readership and someone is reading this who is actually considering an unbelieving partner today.

Yes youuuuuu. I wrote this for you. Don’t watch me, watch ya kids.

What exactly is the allure of an unbeliever?

Don’t stone me, but there is none. It’s a façade, a very light veneer.

I know some good girls just love a bad boy and I’m sorry to say, the naughtier the better right? It’s effortless, the talk, the look, his everything. Nah, I won’t lie, it’s tempting small.

But it damages and it destroys.

Hate it or love it, the word is true. Unequal yokes and dat. 

¹⁴ Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

¹⁵ And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

– 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 KJV

If you are a person of faith, man or woman, do not entertain anyone as a romantic partner if that person is going to detract from said faith.

Ya heard? That’s means don’t get yoked before you know what they are on – you’re partner should be interested in Jesus before said yoking lol.

I know, I knowwwww it’s so cruel, buts it’s gonna save you some heartache and repentant prayer in a few weeks/months/years.

That Non-Believing Brudda. Yes, we know him. The guys who’s on that wonderful Christian journey, only problem is his journey has no end date. 

Well hunnay the journey ended in 2020 – we in a whole new decade baby. Say less.

Girls, ladies, the first man I’m asking you to avoid this year is the Non-Believer. Y’all need to leave this brother in 2020. He is not cute – do not let him be current. 

Next week – number 2, a guy who doesn’t do commitment…

SS x