The Chronicles of Bae: The Hiatus

So if you made it this far, you really are the real MVP, because herein lies the final post for this period – yes, we are going on hiatus.

A break. A pause.

Why? Because I’m going on my mountain in June and I wanna focus on one thing: hearing Him.

Why else? Because I wanna see if I have learnt anything over the last dozen posts. I mean, there has got to be more to this than a blog.

Last week, I set you guys some homework, namely watching Juanita Bynum’s No More Sheets. First preached in 1999 at Bishop TD Jakes Woman Thou Art Loosed Conference, it rings as true today as it did 20 years ago.

You see, that sermon is a message that delivers me every single time I listen to it. And of late, I’ve been in need of some real deliverance.

She has so many gems in this video, but just a few from the first 15mins from me to you. Take them as imperatives, take them as declaratives, however you wanna take them, just take note…

  1. Get out of your Flesh. My flesh has ruined me so many times in the past. If I let her, she will ruin me again and again and, oh you guessed it – again. Check your flesh – in most situations it’s wrong.
  2. You can only preach what you know. Guys, if there’s one thing I know a little about, it’s the good, the bad and the ugly side of dating – but that doesn’t make it comfortable. When you have been called to preach on a subject that will leave you vulnerable, you will never feel comfortable because you can’t share without leaving yourself exposed. Oh yes, when we talk about singleness, we dip into our business, so you ought to get ready and get used to it. I pray that you will receive both discernment and discretion to preach what you know well.
  3. How can you help anyone without telling them what you have been through? Linked to the above – it’s not everyday Instagram Pastor, but we need to be honest about what and where we are coming from. Say it with me guys – transparency.
  4. Stop buying/reading books on Singlesness. Oooooh so awkward. I know, I know. Did I just write that? I love books but sometimes reading them is just a form of escapism. Read your bible, open your mouth and live your single life with God. #Darrissit
  5. Singleness as a virgin VS Singleness as a divorced person is different. Don’t get that twisted. Let’s not even pretend to get another person’s struggle.
  6. In order for you to ever be free, you have to HEAR. If there’s anything I’ve learnt this year, it’s that God has called me to freedom and it’s for me to heed that call and walk in the liberty given to me. He’s called me to be free from every Bae, Bobo and Uncle I have ever dated. Sometimes we make freedom a long story – it need not be.
  7. Stop writing his/her name on a piece of paper, tearing it up and expecting that it will signify the end of your soultie. Nah this is just for lols. I believe in prophetic actions, don’t get me twisted, but unless God said it, not every action is prophetic for you o. Be careful that you are not left with loads of scrunched up pieces of paper and no power. It’s not every day “write his/her name down”. That’s not even lol, that’s lolums.
  8. Be real. Everyday is a struggle to kill the flesh. Speak on that. People may not want to hear that ugly truth but hey ho, we gots to share that.
  9. Be truthful. Anyone who ain’t working out their singleness is a liar. If you ain’t been tempted, you ain’t living.
  10. The desire to cut corners is soooo real. Oh do I have stories on this. But guess what, we shouldn’t sacrifice out of fear of getting caught out. We should just sacrifice.
  11. Before you ask yourself “why am I not married?” first consider whether you are actually single. Now that’s a word to your mama. Deep it.
  12. And what may be my favourite line: I wanna hear “hold on” from someone who is really holding on. Certain preachers are telling you to hold on, whilst they going home to biceps and triceps, and they got someone giving them backrubs. No no no. You gon’ sit down. COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE LOLUMS.

That’s all folks. I will leave you to uncover the remaining gems. Over the next month whilst we are on a break, I pray that the message contained within the video will challenge you each time you remember it. More than that though, I pray that this blog will challenge you each time you go back to it.

During my hiatus, I am taking some time to go back to the basics of marriage, relationships and dating and I want to encourage you to do the same. I am going to spend time to examine myself, my heart, my ideas, my motivations and my expectations. I want to honestly reassess my past errors and intentionally and prayerfully prepare for my future.

The key word is Introspection.

The required action is Consecration.

In short, I wanna go through the process. So until we meet again in July, The Chronicles continue…

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